2. I wish someone would have told me about the “reality of motherhood” -that it is like a marriage…for better or worse, in good times and bad, till death do us apart.

3. I wish I would have known about children having colic and what to do about them crying constantly for days and nights …and loosing much sleep.

4. I wish someone would have told me not to read Doctor Spock….becase he never even had any children of his own so where did he get his information? Probably from many moms.

Kerri your list of 10 wise things was awesome.

Here is my list of 10 wise things that can only be learned as you “walk out your motherhood”:

1. Every child is “uniquely” different - and as you walk through a life of motherhood you find out what works for each of your children [as you go through it...with them.

2. Our children go through different growing stages and seasons in their life that they don't understand. We need to be Jesus to them; and walk through things with them showing them wise guidence, unconditional love, godly correction, and understanding. This is the way that we show them a Jesus that they might not ever see otherwise. Even when you don't understand anything, just let them know that you love them, and you are there for them.

3. Children need "respect" just as much as adults. Jesus never forbid them to come unto him when they needed him. The parents and children need clear and uncomplicated guidelines of respect.
And it isn't going to kill us to make allowences sometimes; and find out what our children need at the moment [instead of always making them wait because we are busy doing our thing and we don't want to be interrupted]. Show them that what is important to them is also important to you. Don’t we do that for our friends? Well your children are more important.

4.There are many things that can distract us or steal our time from our children. There should be a “balance” in our life of how we use our time 24/7…. and our children shouldn’t have to feel like they are the last thing on our list - in our every day life. We will be sowing eternal “worth and value” into their lives in a world where children are left to themselves - [because there parents are too busy for them].

5. Don’t lie to your child, and don’t lie about anything to anyone else in front of your child. How will your child trust you if you lie? We had to tell our children [at a certain age] that there was no Santa..[who they couldn't see] - and that God supplied mom and dad the money so that we could buy them Christmas gifts. So later when we told them about Jesus diying for there sins and giving them the gift of eternal life…[but they couldn't see him] they knew that we weren’t lying to them…b/c we told them the truth about Santa.

6. After you enforce a punishment for your child [for whatever reason]….don’t forget to hug them and then treat them as if they never did anything wrong. In this way they will learn what God’s chastening and forgiveness and restoration feels like. When you stay mad at them you are showing them that God doesn’t forgive them after he corrects them and holds a gruge against them. We need to remember that God hates sin and loves the sinful child.

7. Sometimes we go through something with our child that we have never experienced before. It can be devistating.
In the 2nd grade our son had to go to a new school and was very shy. I remember when he use to run out of the class into the parking lot during his ajusting stage..shaking and crying. I told him one day as I was holding him and comforting him that this was something new to mommy and I didn’t know what to do; so I cryed with him and prayed for him and told him I loved him. We got through it together.

8. Make a memory. I kidnapped my children from school one day and took them to Disney World ….what a memory.
You can take them to beach or to lunch or somewhere that you know they enjoy.
It makes them feel special. Take lots of photos and make a memory.

9. Take time to really listen to your children. There is nothing like looking at your children and making them melt because they have your undivided attention. When our children were growing up I would spend [individual time with them] and take the time to listen to them and talk to them and be interested in their world. The Lord taught me that when you listen to your children and don’t freak out about things that they tell you….it builds trust in their heart towards you at an early age so that later in life they will bring things to you and confide in you-[instead of running to their friends. I was always telling them things that I loved about them; because I knew that if I didn't that no one else would. I took the time to make each one of them feel like they were the only child in my life [when I would spend time with them individually.. Jesus takes time to make you feel that special when you spend time with him, so treat your children like you want to be treated.

10. When our children grow up they will remember how we treated them and what we said about them. Make sure that we leave "posative" memories in their minds. We should base how we relate to our children and always compare how we treat them with how God's word tells us to treat people. After all God gave them to us to steward and to train them up in the ways of God so that when they are old they won't depart from Him or us.
Remember that we are accountable to God for how we witness to them [just as much as we are witnesses to the world].

Kerri I love what you are doing and I see a great mom on the inside of you. What you haven’t learned yet about those teen years is that those teens need to be loved and valued just as much as when they were small. You have a lot to look forward to.
This is fun reading about what God is doing through you.
Just remember that your children are reading the mom book that you are portraying to them now in your every day life. So you are writing a book and you are living it too.
When I hear your heart it is so loving and full of compassion that I believe with you that your children rise up and call you blessed and a mom who is a blessing.
love you, Patty

The new book outline is wonderful. There are not enough books for expecting moms/ new moms.
Being ‘real’ is key. I believe family and friends don’t tell expecting moms the truth to protect them.
Women don’t want to sound negative or even frighten future moms.
I also experienced postpartum. It was a difficult and strange time. The miracle I had waited on (for 40 years) was here! Yet where was the joy? Understanding what happens to your body especially the ever
changing hormones helped some. When it came down to it. Prayer, and the word of God came to the
rescue.
Instead of going down the western medical trail. I found holistic and natural products to be helpful for
my transitions. I also found that going natural helped me in other areas of my health.
Even in the days I struggled, I knew that my young son would be running up and down our home
soon enough. I cherished the day. Knew I was blessed to stay home. I realized that being a mom
was a long life lesson. A journey I am thankful to be on.
God bless you as you write this very important book.

Love you,
Sheri Donovan

Thankfully, God has a sense of humor. He basically told me to lighten up and get over myself. So what if the toys aren’t picked up the instant they’re not being played with anymore? So what if the dishes sit *gasp* in the sink overnight to be washed the next morning? So what if my child has macaroni and cheese for breakfast?

I had to learn to let go of my deeply ingrained need to plan, organize and control every aspect of my life (and my family’s). The journey has been much sweeter, though more unpredictable, since I learned to lighten up and trust God with the big stuff.

Love you!!

-Lea

One piece of advice that more mature people always give me and other young Moms is “just enjoy this time”. Well, I can say with immature confidence, “whatever”. I am certain that in 10 maybe 20 years I will look back and wish upon myself that I could have just “enjoyed this time”, but when you are in the thick of it, this is one of the most overwhelming pieces of advice ever! When I say, “in the thick of it”, I am referring to babies crying and crying, two year olds throwing temper tantrums, and VERY early mornings. Really this term could apply to any difficult stage of life. I am struck as I realize how many times I have told single friends of mine to just enjoy being single for a time. Or friends who are in college struggling with all the college issues of grades, friends, etc., to just enjoy it while they can. How inconsiderate!

Really when it comes down to it, these “in the thick of it” moments are the trials that are relevent to our individual lives. Trials that we are gauranteed by our Creator. Trials that aren’t necessarily from Him, but that He certainly allows, just hoping for the moment when we cry out in panic, brokeness or desperation for a friend. A friend who doesn’t tell us to “enjoy” our trials, but who eagerly awaits for us to cry to Him so He can tell us, it’s Okay. He understands. He knows it’s hard. He also knows that you know that there are other people out there with much bigger struggles, and He still cares about YOU. Just You. He hears the crying baby, He hears the screaming 2 year old, He sees the clock at 6 AM, and He feels you. And He loves it when you ask for help. He loves it when you call out His name, and He loves rescuing you. When no one else will do, when everyone seems to tell you that it will only last for a little while, Jesus comes to sit a while.

2 thing i wish i knew before becoming a mom:

1) sometimes baby cry (long),& nothing to what u did, they just cry & it doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom nor u should of got you’re act right prior to this moment, just don’t take it so hard on yourself nor freak out about it.

2) if someone wants to help you out -LET THEM!! i wanted to help my sis-in-law (& bro) out when the baby couldn’t sleep (which meant they couldn’t), & they nearly fought me on it but i finally convinced them & it was 1 my favorite moments w/ my nephew. then when it was my turn w/ child- i was so grateful when others asked.

but 1 thing i did prior to everything was PRAY!!

thanks for sharing- God bless you & yours

I really appreciated your ‘motherhood’ post. All my life I’ve spent time mostly with people older than me. I really enjoy it because it gives me tremendous insight into stages of my life that I may not be even close to entering, but I cherish being able to absorb and store so much good information. Bobby and I do that so much when in a group of all our friends who have kids of different ages. Sometimes the more I hear the more I feel just how not prepared I am, but being that we both want a family very much it’s great to have such insight.

God really spoke to me through your post. As I started reading the items I felt my fear of having kids increase, but by the end I was so moved with a peace and touched that I still feel emotional writing this and I can’t really explain why. But I do know that I am glad I have this list and can’t wait for the book to be published, because I’m sure I’ll be in full swing of needing it then!

Thanks, Kerri. Love you & appreciate you so much.

1. There are no such things as the “terrible twos” or “traumatic
threes”.
As you know, I have two girls, and we had “terrific twos” and “tremendous threes” and “fantastic fours”.
Speak words of blessing over your children and their
personalities.

2. It’s good to teach them manners and etiquette!
Jody used to get on me and say I was being so hard on the babies by making them eat neatly from the youngest age and say “please” and “thank you”…until he got his first compliment on how well behaved his girls were; and all of a sudden, I was a genius!
It is much easier to teach these good behaviours while they are young than it is to unteach the bad things when they are older.

3. Know that you are going to make mistakes. Especially when you get into the teenage years.
Just don’t give up on them, yourself, or your Heavenly Father.

4. And remember, God knew that you were not going to be a perfect parent, but He trusted you with these precious children, anyway, because He is bigger than our mistakes!

5. Be sure to have a sound support system. Living in Florida can make this particularly hard on parents, because it is a state where people are transient; and many don’t have grandparents, brothers, and sisters to back them up. We need to have a good church, be hooked up to small groups, fellowship, and serve - to keep us encouraged and have that network of support we all need so much.

There you go, dearheart, I hope these are something you can use in your book!

Love you so much…
Hugs, jan