“The woman that I see knows who she is, where she is going, and how she is going to get there. She equips herself to finish strong on the journey of life.”
Maybe a better way to describe this woman is to say that she knows whose she is. A strong sense of identity is one of the most fundamental components of spiritual, mental and emotional health. In fact, a large part of our lives is spent asking ourselves the big question, “Who Am I?”
Different seasons of life come and go — and each season shakes up our identity (who we think we are) and adds dimension to it. For example, when I became a mother, it totally messed up my identity. I had to see myself in a whole new light. Before I had my oldest daughter, I had always perceived myself as emotionally stable. I was always serving, I was at every church event. I was the one helping other people — and you could always count on me to make sure the job was done. I got a lot of my identity from these aspects of my personality.
But when I had Kaylan, a lot of things changed all at once. I became what I had disdainfully refered to before as “a cryer.” I couldn’t hear the song “Butterfly Kisses” without a mountain of Kleenex nearby. I couldn’t serve at church all the time — I couldn’t even attend meetings if there was no childcare. I often felt left out and disconnected. Instead of helping others all the time, I was now the one asking for help when my world got unmanageable. I learned what it felt like to be out of control — it was hard.
What I learned in that time (and continue to learn in other seasons) is that my identity can’t be wholly dependent on what I do. My role, and my job description can change at any given moment. Right now I am in the happy days of a house full of lots of kids and their friends. It’s noisy, and tiring and fun! But a day will come when I will have an empty nest waiting to be filled with grandchildren. My role will shift, and with it a piece of my identity — that’s ineveitable and we would be silly to think we can escape it.
The one thing that will remain a constant in my life is not who I am, but whose I am. Who I am will change from time to time– it will necessarily be tweaked and shifted according to the seaon of life I find myself in. But Whose I am will never change. No matter where I find myself, I will always be first and foremost a daughter of God. When life gets crazy and I find myself in transition (which is almost all the time these days) this knowledge always centers me. Before I am anything else — mother, wife, pastor, writer, preacher — I am His daughter — immeasurably loved.
6 Comments
Kerri,
Always enjoy hearing you preach and the way you brought the message last nite was awesome! Thank you! Today’s blog was good as usual. It is always so easy to forget just that, that we are a daughter of God 1st and foremost. We as women wear so many different hats that we lose sight of ourselves too frequently. Thank you for the reminder, it was very timely for me today.
Pastor Kerri,
You have hit the nail on the head. Being a woman brings about various seasons! I am the mother of 5 and know that my roles have changes many times. Glad to see that some of the roller coaster in my life is over and we are onto more lifelong things to come! Bless you and thank you for putting yourself into all that you do! Be blessed and thanks for your example!
Thanks Pastor Kerri for the word you shared. I couldn’t help but think that while I have been truly blessed with beautiful visions of promises God has made over me, Alyssa and Will, I don’t know the road ahead. Such HUGE visions that I can’t quite possbility figure out how to get there on my own. I’ve thought about it, spent much time considering “what can I do, God, to get to that point already?” but the bottom line is that while I can tell you what God has shown me, I have no clue how either of us will get there. And truthfully, I am ok with that. I rest knowing that He is working on me, cleaning me up and preparing me for the call ahead. He’ll lighten the path when it’s time to move.
I know, and reinforce it to Alyssa all the time, that we are first and foremost daughters of the Most High. He’ll light our path, we just have to choose to follow. Everyday, I pray over alyssa and thank God for the gift of His precious little girl. I so very much, more than anything, want her to know that she is, in your words, “immeasurably loved.”
God Bless,
Gail
I loved what you just said and I can totally realate, I love hearing you speak! Praise Jesus!
Blessings!
Robin, Regina, Gail, and Andrea — thank you for your comments on this post. Maybe this will be a good topic for my book on motherhood, what do you think?
Kerri,
This word is so timely for me! I am truly learning to embrace this very season in my life right now. Thank you for sharing your heart and wisdom.
Love you!