Many of those who follow this blog are aware that early in our son’s life he struggled with severe speech delay and some other issues which led some professionals to believe that he suffered from Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Both my husband and I have mentioned this in passing when we have spoken in church. Without fail after one of us mentions it in a message, we are approached by someone who has a child or grandchild who is, or they fear may be, autistic. They are always curious to know more about our story, how Stovie made a recovery, and what treatments we used. They are often desperately alone, hopeless and scared. More times than not, they have been given little direction and are adrift in a sea of overwhelming information.
My heart goes out to these parents with sincere compassion, because I know how they feel. I remember the day I was told, “We think your child shows signs of Autism.” The words fell like a sledgehammer on my heart. I was eight months pregnant with our third child, Annabelle, and Stovall was out of town on a business trip. I felt completely alone.
That was eight years ago, and I am beyond grateful to say that today Stovie exhibits no autistic symptoms at all. Some say that Autism cannot be cured, and the fact that he no longer has symptoms proves that he never was autistic. Autism is a spectrum disorder (some activists even include ADD on the spectrum), and some would say that every tiny quirk is a residual symptom. (OK, so he’s introverted – so am I. Am I Autistic?) Stovie happens to be crazy smart, and some would say that like many genius-prone kids, his speech was just delayed. I don’t know if any (or parts of all) of these theories are true. Frankly, I don’t care. But I believe in my heart of hearts that our little boy was healed.
I have thought for some time that it would be helpful to write about our family’s journey through the shadowy land of Autism. I call it that because at the time there was no conclusive research on the causes and treatments of Autism. There was no clear path of recommended treatment. The whole thing was very much like boxing a shadow: you think you see the target, but when you strike there’s nothing of substance there. The shadow remains elusive, ever-moving, ever-changing until you wear yourself out chasing it and feel like giving up.
So for the next few weeks I am going tell the story of our brush with Autism. Hopefully it will be encouraging to those of you who have a loved one boxing with shadows.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I am so looking forward to this latest blog series. As a preschool teacher, I hope to learn more about diagnosis and any other insight you may have. Thanks for sharing your personal journey with us.
I have encountered the same thing with my son. He is in speech therapy at the moment. I was told by a few daycare centers that they believed that he showed signs of the disorder. I felt exactly as you did. I am a single mother and to have someone say something like that to you…it is scary at best. I am eager to hear/read your story.
Thank you for sharing such a painful journey. It will help so many people.
We love y’all,
Dave & Jean Ohlerking
Hi Kerri!
Thank you for sharing! I just wanted to let you know I appreciate you sharing something so personal with us. My son was diagnosed with Marfan Syndrome. It is rare and requires lots of different doctors and something you have to follow all of his life. I don’t know if you are familiar with that syndrome, most people are not. Anywho, I just wanted to let you know your words are encouraging to those who seem alone sometimes and feel like we are “Boxing with Shadows”. God is an Awesome God and we shall put our hope in Him.
In Christ,
Andrea
Pastor Kerri, It is amazing to see you be so transparent in so many areas of your life. That is what helps to encourage others like myself to really KNOW that we are not alone. Often we feel like we are alone and that nobody else could ever imagine what we are going through. I can totally relate to boxing with shadows, just in a different area.
Praise God for Stovie’s healing. I remember teaching that little man with Barb in the 2’s. He has such a great spirit about him. Be blessed! Can’t wait for Friday night!
Hi Kerri! I can understand exactly what you mean. My grandson Daniel has Ausburger Autisim. It is a struggle everyday for my daughter. He also is ADHD and has extremely difficult time with other kids his age due to them making fun of him because he is so different. He is extremely, very smart and doing well by maintaining an A-B Honor Roll status in school. Most of his is due to social skills.
Daniel is a wonderful child and is a blessing to us every day. Thank you so much for sharing your story. BTW, I remember our services over in the Day Care Gym! Time sure has gone by!
Iris