Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40 (NIV)
Today at Sisterhood mornings in our continuation of our series “Following the Rabbi” we talked about going beyond the law. By their nature, laws are all about minimums; are all about “the least.”
- “What is the least I can serve and still be considered for leadership?’
- “What is the least sexually pure I can be and still be ok in God’s eyes?”
- “What is the least I can give and still feel like I am doing the right thing?”
When we talk about loving God like that, it’s easy to see that it’s an immature way to serve, to live, and to love . But what about when we apply that same standard to our earthly relationships? Jesus summarized the law and the prophets into the greatest commandment (above). This is not a commandment that seeks to find the minimum requirements for loving someone “properly.” Rather it is a commandment that urges us to go beyond…
…beyond in loving
…beyond in forgiving
…beyond in serving
…beyond in caring
…beyond in________________ (you name it)
Imagine if you applied this “beyond” mentality to your marriage. How would that change the dynamic of the most significant relationship in your life? Many times,we can come to view our marriages like a contract: I do this and you do this. I own this and you own that. I do my part and you do your part. We tend to notice when our spouse starts to “slack off” on their part of the deal… and often we push back subtly by “slacking” on our part of the deal. That’s a “minimum requirement” approach to relationship. and it might get a desired behavior to happen, but it probably won’t result in the intimacy you crave.
The next time you feel like you are pulling more than your fair share of the weight in marriage, try this (preaching to myself here!):
- speak more kindly
- cook his favorite meal
- find extra, specific ways to encourage him
- go to the extra trouble to plan a special night together
- do one of the chores he should be doing
That is the “beyond” mentality– and it’s the way of grace.
Excellent advice, and so true! I can definitely relate to the part about when my hubby is slacking, I also want to slack. I know he’s overwhelmed by work and projects right now, so it may be that all he needs is to be reminded that he’s loved! : )
Ty pastor Kerri! I miss hearing you preach in general so catching up on your Sisterhood sermons has been a gift. You truly have such a deep understanding on how God intends us to serve our husbands and I know it’s because you are such a great example for all of us. This is exactly what I needed to be reminded of in this specific season of my life! Now I hope to follow your teaching so I can be an example to other woman living in this fast paced worry just about yourself kind of world we live in!
Pastor Kerri, I am so glad you are blogging about marriage! I am eating it up!!!! Keep them coming….we wives need to be regularly reminded and encouraged and inspired to be MORE THAN ALL WE CAN BE for our husbands!!!! I “heart” your blog!
I agree with the others–thank you so much for blogging about marriage! (And about Sisterhood mornings…I miss Sisterhood Nights now that I’ve moved away, so this is a treat). As a newlywed I have so much to learn and put into practice that is a bit foreign to me on a day in day out basis. You help me to get my focus off myself and put it where it should be: On Christ 1st and then my husband. Thanks so much, Kerri, and God bless you!
I love this! How big is our God? How big do we allow Him to be? How much of Him do we really want to fill us? To go beyond our limits is bowing the knee and laying down our comfortable approach. You once said that the Holy Spirit who lives in us is more than able to love our worst enemy! I have never forgotten the impact of your words, Kerri! As I search my heart I know I must die if He is to live His amazing grace in me! How wonderful to be changed into His glorious image! I love you, Kerri! Thank you for sounding the trumpet!
Love,
Margie
I am enjoying every bit of Sisterhood mornings and your blogs are such a sweet surprise, love reading them! Thanks!!
Thanks ya’ll! Glad these little posts about marriage are a help and encouragement. That’s my hope. appreciate all of you stopping by to comment!